Christian Self Image

Seeing Ourselves

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We live in an age of great concern over self-image and self-esteem. As a life-long Christian, I have gone through several iterations of what, I thought, is the Christian way to view myself. I have gone from thinking very poorly of myself (I am a sinner) to thinking very highly of myself (God has redeemed me and loves me). I even tried the impossible task of not thinking of myself at all ("Let's forget about ourselves and magnify his name..."). As you might guess, I spent much more time thinking poorly of myself. But that has mostly changed in recent years. Now, I mostly think of myself as simply a part and not a whole.

Made in the image of God

The story of man's creation demonstrates that humans are created to live in unity with others. The ideal of living as a godly individual was clearly cast aside from the beginning. God makes the ideal, individual human out of dust. He is sinless, obedient to God and without blemish, but God says this is "not good." What could possibly be "not good" about this pinnacle of his creation? Precisely because the man is created in God's image.

Man, if he is to image God at all, cannot do so in isolation. The story is almost blunt in its insistence: God creates the man, looks upon his solitary completeness, and pronounces it not good. The defect is not moral but relational. The remedy is equally telling, God fashions another human, not from another clump of dust, but from the man himself, as though to say that humanity was never meant to be a self-contained unit but a shared life, divided without being diminished.

This arrangement quietly gestures toward the mystery of God’s own being—unity without loneliness, plurality without fracture. Yet even so, no reader of Genesis, however imaginative, would have guessed that this first union of male and female was rehearsing something far stranger still: the day when God would not merely reflect himself in humanity, but step into it as Emmanuel, God with us.

Joined with Christ

A Christian self-image is, of course, founded in our relationship to Christ. But this goes much deeper than simply Christ has paid for my sins. Christ has joined us to himself. This is a kind of wholeness that can only be found in seeing the "part-ness" of our individual selves.

If I am talking with someone who, say, identifies as gender queer, you might see the difference in our self-images as one who sees himself as male (within the gender binary) and one who sees themself as not fitting a standard gender category. I would argue however, that our self-image differences go far deeper than gender.

As a Christian, I've come to see myself always as a part, not a whole. While the gender queer individual is seeking to be a whole, authentic person, I am seeking to know myself through unity with another, Jesus Christ. The line of demarcation between those who seek fulfillment in individuality and those who seek fulfillment in emptying themselves into another is the true battle line of our age.

Christian Marriage

Christ comes as a bridegroom seeking his bride. This revelation transforms our understanding of marriage. I now see the foolishness of my original desire in marriage. I thought I was gaining some sort of "super-compatibility," essentially my wife as a beautiful multiplication of myself. This resulted in periods of cooperation punctuated by tense confrontations when I experienced my life companion "doing it wrong." Our long discussions (my wife and I are talkers) amounted to each of us trying to use words to train the other to go back to being the compatible companion they're supposed to be.

Christ as the bridegroom and his followers as his bride changes everything. Christian marriage is the spiritual joining of two individuals into one, new person. Christian marriage is a foreshadowing of the great wedding to come (Rev. 19) when Christ is joined to his people (the church). My marriage is a sort of "off Broadway" production of this coming main event and I have been cast in the role of Christ and my wife is playing the part of the church.

My marriage is a constant and dynamic reminder that I am not my own. I belong to Jesus who has joined me to my wife as one flesh. I am not a strong, authentic Christian individual. I am always a part of that which is greater. How did I ever expect that my wife should be like me? Marital joy comes when I work to fold myself around her, not thinking up new lectures to convince her to be like me.

The Christian Church

In the same way, Christians gather as parts of a larger unity which is known as the body of Christ. This is also described as a temple and each individual in the church is a building block in it's construction. We live in an age where many Christians see a church as a gathering of people who may or may not have what they are looking for. Many Christians

hop from one church to another depending upon how their (or their children's) needs are being met. The COVID-19 crisis revealed a great number of (apparent) Christians who now see physically attending church as totally optional.

This dwindling and variable church attendance reveals a deeper problem in the church. Too many of us view church like any other social gathering, a group of individuals who share the same interests (for now). This view reduces churches to local chapters of a "Jesus fan club." My chapter "really likes Jesus' older material" and the chapter across town "likes his newer stuff."

The Bible specifically warns against this but I worry that we forget the foundational self-image required for this kind of church gathering. 1 Cor. 12 describes church gatherings as the body of Christ, "For the body does not consist of one member but of many" This requires individual church members who are looking for where they (one part of the body) can best serve Christ by helping the church as a whole. Not surprisingly, an individual finds their part in the body by seeking guidance from others, not by one's own, private decision.

Christians who see themselves as individuals striving for wholeness, happiness, fulfillment or success are missing a foundational reality of the Christian faith. We've already seen the perfect, sinless man in unbroken fellowship with the living God and he decared that man "not good." Christians needn't wrestle with a negative self-image, worry about an overly positive self-image or even try to pretend they have no self-image at all. A Christian self-image is grounded in "part-ness" not wholeness. Righteousness cannot be attained outside of intimacy with God. Jesus Christ has given to us an overwhelming intimacy with God and prays to God for us that his people "... may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one." (John 17:22-23)

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